all the breast

Have you ever had a shock that has made you re-evaluate your life? I have and it happened three days ago.

I woke up at 1am, for what reason I do not know, and felt a lump in my breast. I felt like all my worst nightmares had come at once and felt helpless. I stood, eyes wide open, staring at my sleeping boyfriend, who woke up, equally shocked to see me standing in the middle of the room crying at one in the morning. It was the unknown that is the worst. Not knowing, is it cancer? is it just a harmless cyst? will i die? will i have to go into hospital? (i tell you i would do anything to avoid needles, i once ran from the school nurse to avoid the tetnus!). So the next day, after a sleepless night Gloucester and I drove home, as we were two hours away from home staying at his parents. After a long wait in the doctors, and after baring my naked self to a strange man, I was told that it was probably be a cyst. The thing is he didn't really know.

Next day I was referred to the hospital, where Gloucester and I spent five long hours waiting to see numerous people. During those five hours I had a further 5 people touching, staring, prodding, ultra-sounding my once again naked boobs! It is actually surprising that when faced with a potentially life threatening illness you really don't care. I honestly would have stood naked in the A and E waiting room if I had to!

So after all this I was told that it actually wasn't a cyst and that it was an abscess or an infected lymp gland. lovely. A pus filled sac in my breast that could burst any time and give me blood poisoning. great. The look of horror on Gloucester's face when I was told to take it easy, I could literally see the list of jobs that he would now have to do circling around his head. Needless to say, that night we had a take-away chinese!

So let's hope that all will be well, I am trying to take it easy and not do too much but that is hard when faced with Christmas washing and tidying. I have an appointment in 2 weeks for another ultrasound so fingers crossed it has gone or I really do not know what will be the next plan of action. Anyway I am lucky, I spent some of my time waiting in the breast clinic in the Cancer ward and to be around those poor people who are battling the diesase is a sobering experience. So take care of yourselves and realise how lucky you are x