After years of deliberating I finally decided, last September, that I would get my act together and embark on a Master's degree. Each month I'm now at least £200 worse off but supposedly wiser.
The problem is, although I love learning, I really don't think I'm that good at it. I feel like one day they're be an almightly knock at my door - someone will have found me out, they'd sack me from my job and brand me a fraud.
Take my GCSEs for instance, personally I think I could probably have done better but at the time I thought I'd done enough. I got a D in Science. Rubbish. So off I went back to college to retake this GCSE and even after a year of concentration and revising I still only got a C. Good enough but only just.
Somehow I managed to achieve a good degree. I still can't quite believe it, maybe they calculated my marks wrong?
Now I've just finished the first year of my MA. I've done OK considering I'm the only one on the course with a full-time job. All year I've achieved Bs, which at Master's level, I thought was pretty good. But isn't it always the way, I thought I'd really pulled it out the bag in my last essay only to find that it was my worse essay yet. Typical. I opened up the email that held my grade and there it was that big fat C smirking back at me.
So maybe I should give up my job so I can concentrate on getting better than a mediocre C, an average C, a it's-good-but-not-that-good C? Or maybe I should just carry on as always and hope that no one comes knocking at my door.
1 comment:
In the Contrary Miss E, you are far from a C. Only those that believe that matter.
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